Distress Signal
by fangirlwriter101
Summary: It was supposed to be an easy job - watch over his 'niece' for a short while, make sure she does not get into trouble while her parents were out, etc. If only Clank could have seen that he would be the one in trouble instead... *humor oneshot*


_Hey, so I've got a couple other accounts on here but long forgotten and unused XD So no stranger to writing fanfics, but this is my first Ratchet and Clank fic :3 So disclaimer that not only do I not own it, but also I'm not feeling 100% confident writing in character just yet so I'm hoping this does okay for now, but it's the first story I wanted to put on paper cause every time I thought of it it just made me laugh XD_

 _Backstory: Been going through a few fics and I kind of found it rare to find any fics about Ratchet having any kids and had an idea for a few oneshots based on the idea if Ratchet and Talwyn somehow ever did. If this goes successfulish I'll do a few more. I have the duo have a son and daughter; Kaden (named after Ratchet's father) and Marzia (a name I had as an idea for Talwyn's mother maybe?). The way I picture them are lombax looking, but instead of stripes they have spots all through their fur, along with smaller ears, tails without a poof and bare bellied/handed. Ill explain in more detail when I make more of these :3_

 _Anyway, without further ado, here is my first Ratchet and Clank fic!_

* * *

Distress Signal

The apartment seemed unusually quiet for the first time in a long while, Clank pondered as he placed down the engineering book he had just finished reading on the coffee table before him. There was always at least some sort of noise signalling life, whether it was Ratchet tinkering with a new invention, Talwyn working away on reports for the Polaris Defence Force, or even the kids playing some sort of game.

Granted, the silence was expected. Talwyn had taken young Kaden for a visit with the doctors. Ratchet left to the other side of the city to where the junkyard was, hoping to pick up some new pieces for his new invention he was calling a "breath freshener glove" … Clank honestly just stopped asking questions at this stage.

Meaning there was only one other occupant left in the apartment being unusually quiet.

 _Bang!_

" _Ow!"_

Never mind that.

With his sensors running small alarms at the noise, Clank jumped off the armchair and dashed down the hall as fast as his little legs could move.

"Marzia, what is going on in there?" Clank called out, pushing open the five-year old's bedroom door. His neon eyes widened in surprise, finding his 'niece' trying to reach a toy on the top of her shelf, by standing on a desk chair as high as her tip toes would let her.

The small, spotted Lombazian spun around, her green eyes widening too and her small ears lowering in guilt.

"I just wanted to get Bananas for my tea party," said Marzia, now scuffing her foot on the chair and looking away from Clank, guilty of being caught doing something dangerous.

Clank looked up on the top shelf, quickly spotting 'Bananas', the one-eyed, stuffed toy ape. He scanned around her bedroom next, finding the tea-party set up where a Cazar toy was already seated and wearing a frilly yellow dress for the occasion.

Clank did not know whether to laugh at the rather cute set-up, or dead-pan at the child for nearly causing herself to topple over and crash in her quest for guests.

"I will get him. You just step off of the chair before you hurt yourself," said Clank, stepping forward before activating his helipack. With three bursts of the device, he had reached high enough to grab the toy and slowly began his descent towards the ground.

Marzia gasped in delight and pulled the toy ape in for a tight hug when Clank offered it to her. "Thanks, Uncle Clank!"

"It is no trouble. Please just ask for help next time." Clank thought about adding that she may find herself in trouble with her parents if she did hurt herself over such an endeavour, but realised it was false… If anything, Ratchet would be the one finding himself in boiling water with Talwyn if the child had been hurt when he was meant to be watching her while his wife was out.

Clank frowned.

" _Can you watch her for a few minutes for me, pal? Thanks!"_

" _It'll be easy," he said… "It'll be fine!" he said._

Well, Clank supposed as he watched Marzia continue to set up for her party and dress the ape in a blue dress, it would not be so bad or hard now that the child was content.

"Wait, where's Lombie?"

Clank had been close to leaving the bedroom when Marzia called out. He turned mid-step to find her now frantically looking under her bed for her missing Lombax toy.

"Your mother put him in the wash this morning," answered Clank. "He was covered in sand."

"But I need him for my tea party," whined Marzia, flopping dejectedly by the little table for the party. "There's still an empty seat!"

It was one of many times Clank wondered if robots could get headaches. Of all things the sweet little girl could have inherited – it just had to be her father's stubbornness.

"Perhaps you could pretend that there is someone there?" Clank suggested. "Or maybe your guest is wearing an invisible Hologuise?"

"It's not the same," huffed the child, her ears lowered with disappointment.

Clank truly hated to see the little girl upset, it made his systems twitch uncomfortably at the sight. Yet there was not much he could do until the toy Lombax had finished going through the dryers.

Suddenly, the little Lombazian's ears perked up and her tail stiffened; another trait she had inherited from her father to signal that she had just gotten an idea. Clank blinked curiously, wondering what she had just thought of.

Slowly, Marzia looked up, biting her lower lip and her big eyes were gleaming and hopeful.

It took approximately 3.356 seconds before Clank realised what she was thinking.

"…..Oh dear."

* * *

Ratchet had been halfway through the Meridian City before his communicator burst to life with Clank's distress signal.

In less than a heartbeat, feeling his stomach sink horribly in synch with his ears, he activated his hoverboots and spun around in his path – bursting past the city crowds.

Ignoring the angered shouts of the citizens he had knocked down in his desperate race, Ratchet continued onwards. His heart was beating rapidly in panic. Clank rarely ever turned on his distress signal unless he was in severe and mortal peril.

What was worse, he knew he had left his best pal with his only daughter – meaning they were both in danger.

 _Oh, Talwyn was so going to skin him alive and turn him into a rug for this…_

"Clank!" Ratchet yelled once he reached his home, looking for any signs of an ambush. The house and garage mostly appeared un-damaged, but who was to say what was happening inside.

"Clank, I'm coming, pal!" Ratchet yelled again, kicking down the front door and arming his Omniwrench at the ready.

Nothing.

Not a signal sign of any hostility.

Ratchet checked the distress signal more closely and felt his heart stop and his world turn cold. It was coming from Marzia's room.

His ears flattened against his skull and a feral growl ripped through his throat as he raced down the hall to her room. Oohhh, if some son-of-a-Qwark dared to have the gall to break into his house and threaten his little girl he was going to give the R.Y.N.O a whole new meaning as he ripped into their-

"YAAAAaaaahhh… Huh?" Ratchet burst through the doorway, ready to swing his Omniwrench at anything that dared to move. The last thing he was seriously expecting to see was just his daughter looking up in alarm…. Pausing her tea party.

"Daddy?" Marzia asked, a little scared by the sight of Ratchet raising his wrench.

Ratchet quickly lowered it, scratching the back of his head – thoroughly confused by this point. "Uh, sorry, sweetie. It's just that Clank… uuhhh."

Ratchet paused. He finally took in the scene.

Marzia had set up quite a quaint looking tea party amongst herself and her guests, all wearing what appeared to be their nicest dresses for the occasion. Marzia in her purple one, Bananas the ape in a blue one, Fluffy the Cazar in a yellow one… and Clank… in a pink one.

Ratchet nearly cracked a rib from holding in his laughter.

Mortal peril indeed.

Clank was desperately looking up at his oldest and dearest friend. His green optics wide and hoping, looking in all honestly like a prisoner trapped in the little girl's doll dress.

"Ratchet, please!" Clank begged in a low tone. If he had been organic it would have been under his breath to avoid his best to upset the child.

Marzia's ears were lowered, realising she may very well be in trouble.

It took a minute before Ratchet dared to unclench his jaw after his teeth had been clamped over the inside of his cheeks. They would surely scar later. He took a few deep breaths, still trying so hard not to laugh.

Right, he had to be the grown up here. The responsible one. Teach his daughter about what she was doing wrong.

Another deep breath.

"Now, Marzia" he began, moving over to his daughter and kneeling beside her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked at her in the eye, doing his best to remain stern sounding and looking. "You know very well that this-" He indicated towards Clank, "-is not how you have your princess tea parties."

Marzia's lip trembled and she looked away. Clank, looking a little guilty, nearly sighed in relief.

Ratchet kept his composure for a few more seconds.

"…Because none of you are wearing crowns!"

Marzia gasped in delight, her ears perking up.

Clank gaped in utter betrayal.

"You should know better than to host a party like this without tiaras! What were you thinking, ya silly thing?" Ratchet laughed, ruffling his daughter's head. "I've got some scrap metal out in the garage – lemme fix up a few for you and your dear guests!"

Ratchet nearly made it out of the room before his name was called.

"Ratchet."

Ratchet turned, a devilish grin etched on his muzzle as he eyed his pal. Clank's eyes were narrowed – the seriousness of it all washed away by his stiffness in the frilly pink dress.

"I want you to know that I have a severe disliking for you that equivalates to the temperature of all 24.5 million suns in the universe."

Ratchet's grin grew wider. "I think you're great too, Pal! By the way, pink is so your colour."

It was only when Ratchet was safely locked in his garage could he deem it safe to finally burst out and howl with laughter. After these crowns were quickly crafted, he SO had to find the camera.

This was going in the family album for sure.

* * *

 _The end :) for now_

 _Like I said, Ive got a few more family fic ideas up my sleeve so I hope you like this one! I have other plans as well, like a few ACiT alternate endings that may or may not tear a few heartstrings XD_

 _Hope you enjoyed this :) please review!_


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